I’ve mentioned before that we have really annoying neighbors.  And I’m not talking about typical neighbor annoyance (like their wandering pit-bull that constantly uses our yard as his personal toilet), these guys are full on top grade asshats.

It didn’t used to be that way, when we bought our house 9-1/2 years ago, the neighbors were nice, jovial and friendly.  Then the dude got one too many DUI’s and one too many Domestic Disturbance calls when he would smack his wife around, so she got smart, divorced him and moved out.

He ended up in the Psych ward at the local hospital on a 72-hour mandatory hold after trying to get run over on the busy street out front, and met his new girlfriend there. 

In the Psych ward.

Psycho she-devil moved in a short time later with her demon child.

It’s been holy hell ever since.

The belligerent 13 year old likes racing his noisy dirt-bike up and down the driveway.  It’s a little less annoying when he rides it out in their Back 40, far enough away from the house, but when he runs that monstrosity on the short space of driveway between our two houses, the noise reverberates so loudly you can’t hear yourself think, let alone carry a conversation with anyone in person or on the phone.  Forget about watching TV or reading a book, not gonna happen.

We asked nicely – several times – if he could please not race between the two houses because of the noise level.  Not only did he not stop, but he decided to rev the engine extra loud while speeding between the two houses, and instead of spending more time riding out in the Back 40, increased time spent driving specifically on the span between our houses.  WTH??

To give you an idea of why this is an issue, our houses are maybe 30-40 feet apart, with their driveway right next to their house and stops at the very edge of our property line.  (Our house was the original farmhouse in the area, built in 1817.  We have the old deeds when they divided the property to kids/grandkids and the houses on either side were built in 1920 or 1922 – for the family members, which explains the close proximity).

We both have tall houses – 3-stories from the ground to the roof, and since our house has 10-foot ceilings on the first and second floor, that makes for a very tall house.  And, since there was obviously no electricity back in 1817, the windows are 7-feet tall and 3+ feet wide.  So when you have a loud dirt-bike mere feet from those windows revving and sputtering back and forth for hours, it tends to wear on your nerves.  At minimum.

Both the neighbor-turned-asshat and his new she-devil girlfriend (the demon child’s mother) have verbally assaulted us across our property lines, and have encouraged the demon spawn to go ahead and ride all he wants on the driveway between the houses in spite of the warnings from the police we ended up calling on three separate occasions, and them getting a citation for Disorderly Conduct.

Once the weather turned colder (and got dark early) we haven’t had irritating disturbances from the neighbors next door. Much.

Until Monday night.

Princess Nagger and I were sitting in the living room watching Once Upon a Time we’d recorded from the night before, when we noticed a green laser light dancing around on the two windows facing that neighbors house.  I got up to investigate after about 15 minutes of the irritating bright laser light show, and saw that he was also shining the laser light onto the Summer House windows and the part of our brick patio the laser light could reach.  Good thing the dogs weren’t out.

In an attempt to get the devil spawn to stop his antics, I stepped out onto our back patio with a small (but extremely bright) flashlight and shined it onto the offending third floor window the laser light was being beamed from.  Instead of the scramble to stop I erroneously expected, the devil spawn instead deliberately shined the laser light directly in my eyes.

Enough was enough, so I went in and called the police.  The dispatcher mixed up our addresses, so the responding officer stopped at the neighbor’s house first.  I can only guess how that went over. 

When the (very cute) officer came over to talk to me, I explained in detail what happened, and as I was doing so, the asshat neighbor yelled some obscenity from the darkness of his yard. The officer just shook his head and said “I guess there’s been ongoing trouble between you?” I replied “Yes, unfortunately, ever since the new girlfriend and her son moved in.”  He gave me a sympathetic look and said the neighbors agreed to ‘take care of it’ in regards to the laser incident, and recommended if it happens again I refrain from shining my flashlight and just call the police again.

I cannot wait until we get our ducks in a row and get the hell out of here, back to ‘home’ on the West Coast where friends and family are in abundance, and neighbors are actually neighborly.



I’m joining the lovely ladies at Small Town Mommy and Blue Monkey Butt for What The Hell Wednesday – because if this isn’t a WTH situation, I don’t know what is.


  1. Oh, Stacy – that’s just so wrong.

    We’ve had trouble with the little juvenile delinquent and his friends across the street, who like to shout obscenities at us whenever they’re outside “playing.” I finally got sick of it and went over to speak with them one day, with Oldest Son, who was visiting, in tow. Oldest Son is a very gentle, sweet person, but he doesn’t LOOK gentle and sweet, nor is he gentle or sweet when some 13-year-old twit is giving his mother lip. A threatening look and some not-so-gentle words about what would happen to said twit and company if they didn’t cease and desist, and the matter was closed. I haven’t heard a peep out of any of them since.

    28-year-old sons who look like they are perfectly at home in biker bars are often quite convenient.
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  2. Thank you so much for stopping by. I just read this whole post and you made me laugh so hard..although I know is not laughing matter..it’s just the way you write and I felt like I was right there with you. Sorry you are going through this…bunch of idiots! Get out find a happy place. Wish you the best and for sure following you now 😉

  3. WTH Is right. Fortunately, I come from a family where all we had to do was make a phone call & the entire family was there to take care of business (legally of course… I think). Is the child being taken care of properly if not why don’t you make an anonymous phone call & tell them they have alcoholic parents & the step dad or he’s not his dad it’s just a boyfriend who’s been in a psych ward I’m sure won’t go over big with them. Why don’t you start there. Of course make sure all your calls are anonymous. Call from your cell phone & block the number. Then there are other things to aggravate like is there building kept up? Call and make a complaint about their violations as a concerned citizen in the neighborhood. anonymous is the key word here. Lordy I’m such a bitch! You see been there done that & DON’T want to do it again. Luv ya girl!
    Xmasdolly would like you to read ..Wordless Wednessday & Black & WhiteMy Profile

  4. You weren’t kidding! They are asshats! Sorry you have such horrible neighbors. It does make things stressful. We are so lucky to have fabulous neighbors next door, nice neighbors across the street and so-so neighbors on the other side of us.

    Thanks for joining us for What The Hell Wednesday!
    Elle would like you to read ..What The Hell WednesdayMy Profile

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