There are two subjects I tend to not blog about – Religion and Politics. Mostly because everyone has their own opinion about those things, as do I, and I respect everyone’s own individual opinions and prefer not to generate conflict if someone happens to disagree with me. I really don’t like conflict, and would prefer not be the one to instigate it. But since Jen has asked for this week’s Spin Cycle for us to ‘go there’ regarding Religion, I don’t want to disappoint a dear friend and not ‘go there’. So I’m going. There.
I’m a Born Again Christian. But I’m not a Bible Thumper. There. Now you know.
I was raised in a Christian household, my dad became a Christian in the dentist chair (I know, I’m sure a lot of people have a ‘Come to Jesus’ experience in the dental chair, but in this case it was because our awesome family dentist, the most gentlest dentist you could ever experience, was a Christian and ‘witnessed’ to my dad while he was confined in that chair).
My mom became a Christian after she saw the obvious changes – for the better – in my dad. They didn’t push us kids to believe, but did drag us to church every Sunday. I remember squirming on those hard pews while the pastor droned on for what seemed like an eternity, and us four kids would be regulars in the front of the church, singing a special song for the congregation. Who doesn’t appreciate 4 tow-headed kids singing like only kids can sing?
My dad even became an Usher at the church we were going to at the time, the church my Grandpa was a member of. My dad is a hard-headed man, though, (where I get my hardheadedness from), and apparently challenged the pastor on how he interpreted some scripture one Sunday, and my dad was suddenly no longer an Usher, and we were suddenly staying home and having our own church ‘service’ as a family.
My parents did find another church eventually, though us kids were not so happy about it since it meant almost an hour drive one way to sit on more hard church pews. It was at that church, however, that we got to see Amy Grant perform before she became famous. That was cool.
At some point we stopped going to church altogether – my parents were disenchanted with the whole ‘Organized Religion’ part of it, but encouraged us kids as we got older to find our own paths. In fact, it was us kids that started to go to another church of our choice, where we got to enjoy the camaraderie of fun kids in our Youth Group. It was at that church that all of us kids were Baptized in water – the decision to do so as young adults, our own.
Fast forward a few years, us kids all moved out of our parents house, but we still attended the same church weekly. I married a Christian from a Christian home and proceeded to plan the ‘happily ever after’ part.
Except.
He was a cheater, and eventually left me for another woman. Technically while we were still considered ‘newlyweds’ since we had only been married 1-1/2 years when he left. Talk about having the wind taken out of your sails. Not to mention a period of time where I questioned God and everything about Him.
So what did I do? On the rebound I met a self-professed Atheist. His disdain for anything ‘Christian’ was prominent, he vocally expressed his hatred towards God and anything having to do with church or the Bible. So in a rebellious mode after a ‘Godly’ person had ripped my heart out, I married him less than a year after my divorce was final.
And it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life, as he also turned out to be an abuser. Mentally, emotionally and physically. I accepted the fact that he was an Atheist, but an abuser? No thanks. I kinda liked living – and not getting beat up.
With the help of some very amazing friends I was able to escape with my life. And I decided I needed to take some time to reacquaint myself with me, along with that reacquainted myself with God.
While I am proud to be a Christian and believe in God, I do not shove my beliefs onto others – and I respect what others believe. I refuse to be judgmental towards anyone, because it’s not my job (or in my personality) to judge others. I try to live my life so that it glorifies God, but I am human and do make mistakes, I’m far from perfect.
Perfectionist, yes, perfect, no way. And I don’t expect others to be perfect, either.
Some people in some religious capacity probably think that I’m a horrible sinner since I make (and drink) wine. Jesus turned water into wine, so there ya go. If only I could turn plain old water into wine, that would be sweet.
So basically, if someone asks me what ‘religion’ I am, I always, without hesitation, respond: “Christian”. But I won’t start spouting scriptures or doing any Bible thumping, because that’s just not me.
This Religious Spin Cycle was brought to you in part by Jen whom I adore and would convert if she asked, and who is also Sprite’s Keeper. Stop by and check out the other Spinners – you might find yourself having a very religious (or not) experience!
I loved this post. Thank you so much for your honesty. As a divorcee, I don’t know why but I get a lot of comfort from hearing about other women and their stories. Maybe it’s b/c it makes me feel like I”m still ok, even if I made a mistake in deciding who I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Whatever the reason, thank you
Thank you Stacy for expressing a view that is so very similar to my own. I learned that when people say, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”, I totally understand. I ached reading about your cheating husband who was a Christian. Same here. I found out that the cheating happens no matter what you believe. I also drink wine, although I don’t make wine. (Sure wish I could, it would be great!) If you can figure out how to turn water into wine, please give me the recipe! 😉
Simone would like you to read ..Pity Party
I LOVE this post… getting to know more about you! And Girl, I totally agree – as Christians, even more so, we shouldnt JUDGE anyone because I’m standing right next to you with my hand raised when it comes to “those who sin” … I aint EVER going to be perfect!
I think its such a common thing I see – people leave churches because of “organized religion” – you’d think churches would notice this… a sad reality…
Wow, that was a h*ll of a story Stacey, and must have taken some gumption to share it. My parents went through a similar thing when I was a kid, and so I went back to my “church” as a young mother to see if that’s what I really believed (cute hubby was very patient about all of it). As it turned out, I’m very spiritual, but the jury is still out on exactly what to believe. So I just try to be as good as I can and hope for the best.
I like wine too. 🙂
diane would like you to read ..Simply Vera
ack. i cant throw stones through the computer…lol. i grew up in church…left at 15 cause i did not fit…came bac, became a pastor, now i am not but still pugged in…thanks for sharing your story…its a journey…
brian would like you to read ..my pen- my sword
I don’t talk about religion either. Mostly for the same reasons you don’t. I have my own feelings about it but don’t feel it is something I should share. I can say that I suffered a serious crisis of faith when my mother was killed. I have moved past it but still don’t feel comfortable with organized religion.
Anne would like you to read ..Politicians- Illness and RSS- What the Hell!!
Thanks for sharing. I agree that my religious beliefs are mine and shouldn’t be shoved onto others. I will share with anyone if we’re having that discussion, but tend to shy away from religion as a topic, because some people are so closed minded. Their way is the only way to believe. It’s frustrating. But again thanks for sharing your story.
cbs111 would like you to read ..Random Tuesday Thoughts
The wine is the best part of the story! 🙂
Kyooty would like you to read ..Just to Keep you Informed
I talk about religion. I like it when other people talk about their religion. I don’t like it when people make judgments or cast dispersions on people in the name of religion.
Thanks for your story. Isn’t it funny how everyone has a different take on what it means to “talk about religion”?
Mama Badger would like you to read ..MicroFiction Monday
Great spin! Religion can be sucha hot button issue. I was raised in a church setting but saw so much bad’christian’ behavior that it soured me on organized religion. I have my beliefs but I respect other people and will share if pressed but I’m not a bible thumping christian either. Although with all those years of sunday school, I could spout with the best of them. Religion is what you make of it really. Thanks for sharing your take on it.
VandyJ would like you to read ..Dear Someone
Great post! Such honesty. Thanks for sharing!
AmyLK would like you to read ..Today I will take it easy
I wish more Christians were like you. I consider myself Christian too, but I often don’t mention that because I am ashamed of the amount of hate and bigotry there is in this world carried out in the name of Christ. All that judgment and superiority people spout because the “bible told them” is ruining it for the rest of us normal people who just want to lead a good life and be kind to people.
FoN would like you to read ..I think Naomi Campbell and Mia Farrow have somehting to do with that whole thing now too- right
I am your new follower via twitter. You can have a great blog. You can visit me at http://showmemama.blogspot.com
Thanks and Have a great day
Thank you for sharing this part of your life. I was raised by wonderful Christian parents only we didn’t talk about God/Jesus in the house. I never learned anything. I too am a born again Christian and I love my relationship with God. (My husband says he paid his dues when he was young) Sorry about those men in your life, that hurts. I do not push religion on anyone either. When it’s your time to be born again God will help you, they don’t need my pushing. I agree if Jesus can turn water into wine I am sure he is okay with it, in moderation of course!
Debby would like you to read ..RANDOM DOZEN
you have really been through a lot.
thank you for sharing. I believe it is so important that people find a relationship with their God that works for them. It is no ones place to say you are right or you are wrong. it is important to believe in what is right for you.
Amy would like you to read ..Influenced by Tragedy
Wonderful Spin! I find it especially inspiring that you have always come back to your home base faith wise. I know quite a few Born Again Christians that are on the quiet side about their faith since the reputation can be a little extreme, but I figure everyone is allowed their opinion until they start pushing onto others.
You’re linked!
Sprite’s Keeper would like you to read ..Make my wish
Wow. This was a such an open and heartfelt post…I really appreciated it. Thank you for sharing.
Nicki would like you to read ..Snark of Righteousness- Spellcheck of Doom
Wow, born again? I had no idea. I’m not crazy about organized religion because they have the oddest ideas about what God does and does not approve of. Like they have him on speed dial or something. Good for you for finding your own path.
honeypiehorse would like you to read ..Oktoberfest 2010 – New Dirndl!
Love this spin. It’s soooooo me- even to the point that I won’t shove my Christianity down your throat. I married a Baptist the first time who was a cheater and an abuser- emotionally and physically. The second time a Catholic who was a drinker. Having grown up in a loving Christian Household (where drinking was taboo) I had no idea about drinking! I, like you, had to reassess my life and I’m happier now than ever. Thanks for sharing!
~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ aka, Jennifer would like you to read ..Spinning in Redemption
A great post, I’m always interested in hearing about other people’s take on religion, as long as they aren’t trying to shove it down my throat. 😉
Thanks for sharing your personal story. Great spin and I’m so glad you were able to escape the abuser. You are a strong woman.
Peg would like you to read ..Choosing My Confessions
And you, my friend, are the kind of Christian I can respect. Thanks for sharing your story. With all the loud, judgemental, in-your-face Christians out there (or at least that I know!), it is great to be reminded there are intelligent, reasonable people, too! Beautiful story, and I’m glad you found your way.
Eileen would like you to read ..Spin Cycle- Former Catholic Speaks Out
I would hazard a question if that’s OK…. how did born again Christians come to take ownership of the name Christian more than other Christian religions?
I am asking out of true interest.
And think-you for sharing your story out here. It was brave and you are strong and I am very happy you are here to share your story.
Pseudo would like you to read ..The Reef is Always Brighter- in Somebody Elses Pond
Looks like you came full circle and have found your path.
tulpen would like you to read ..Deaf Can Dance
You know, my ex is a “Christian” – he lies. He cheats. He’s abusive. He shirks his responsibilities. Beloved’s ex is also “Christian” – she, too, is a skillful liar and not on good terms with personal responsibility. They both have a great deal of disdain for me and Beloved, because we don’t believe.
I wish they could read this post, in order to acquaint themselves with what a true Christian is.
Jan would like you to read ..Because I Don’t
This is a great post. I think religion can be a difficult topic to discuss. I tend to walk softly around the whole thing…
You touched on it beautifully.
Danielle would like you to read ..Taking a Vacay
Sometimes it’s just best to take a break and rethink. Your ex’s sound like mine, in the same order too. Great spin!
Heather would like you to read ..Oh- to have a good back again
This is a fantastic post, Stacey. Thank you SO much for sharing it with me in response to my post today. I love hearing other people’s journeys – that it’s not cut and dry – and that there ARE people who believe without pushing it on or judging others!
steph {confessions of a stay-at-home mom} would like you to read ..Chevy Girls GIrls Night Out: $100 Outback Steakhouse
Stacy, you certainly have had an interesting history with the church. And I completely understand this post. My wife and I were worked to death by one of the first churches we faithfully attended for many years. Finally we both left and never looked back. My wife still considers herself a Christian, while I took up Christian mysticism. Anyway, thanks for sharing.
Joshua Tilghman would like you to read ..The Transfiguration of Jesus