I’m having trouble formulating words this morning as evidenced by the lateness of this post, but this week’s Spin Cycle is about ‘Roles’ and the parts we play. For the past couple of days I’ve sat and stared at my computer screen willing the words to come, but every time I started to type I didn’t like the direction I was going and deleted the words, then abandoned my computer to continue my organizational purge in the house.
I thought I could post something deep, you know, a synopsis on what a role is, but that line of thought was making me yawn, and I didn’t want to put you to sleep. Then I thought maybe just post one of my favorite roll recipes (after all, Jen did give permission to do so), but I also didn’t want to have the pendulum swing in the opposite direction from boring to lame.
So here I sit, attempting to extract cohesive words to formulate sentences and paragraphs in an effort to pinpoint my role.
*Takes deep breath*
Mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, cousin, chauffeur, maid, accountant, personal shopper, interior designer, seamstress, doctor, nurse, psychiatrist, psychologist, housekeeper, teacher, writer, chef, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, and CEO.
In other words, Domestic Goddess.
My hubby shakes his head whenever I actually do put that down where a form asks for ‘occupation’, because he thinks I’m selling myself short by not putting down my personal business ventures I do from home.
But my main ‘job’ or ‘role’? Everything listed above. And then some.
Being a stay at home parent (mom or dad) can be as unappreciated as it can be rewarding.
Is it a ‘role’ that defines who I am as a person? Maybe a little. But not as a whole. Just like my former career of Marketing Manager wasn’t a definition of who I am as a person. That’s defined in the formulative years by role models during that time. Which means my mom, who was a stay-at-home-mom, would fit into that role model scenario.
When I became a parent, I gained a new appreciation for all the work my mom endured staying home and raising four kids. My one kid is handful enough. But the decision to leave the corporate world to stay home and nurture my child was not that difficult of a decision to make, because my mom made it look easy.
Easy it is not.
For some reason there still seems to be a misnomer about at-home mothers being stuck in the 1950s mold of small-minded housewives. A lot of ‘modern’ mothers have left successful, established careers to nurture their children and find it very hard to see anything of themselves in this picture.
At-home moms (or dads) are neither idle and pampered nor perfect Betty Crockers or Martha Stewart’s of the home front. Shocking, I know. They do work hard, and they’re on call twenty four hours a day. No sick days, no vacation, no retirement fund, no pension.
Most mothers at home are neither youngsters, inexperienced, nor unskilled. They are not at home because they have failed to make a go of it in the business world and have no other career options. Quite a number of them have undergraduate degrees, advanced graduate, professional or technical educations.
My role as ‘Mama’ is just as important as any career I enjoyed out in the ‘real world’. I want to be a significant role model to the Princess Nagger and encourage her to eventually grow into a well-rounded woman some day, one who can be anything, do anything and be successful in whatever role she chooses in her future.
Do you feel that your role defines you as a person, or are you just having fun role playing?
This Spin Cycle was brought to you in part by Jen, who is a significant role model as Sprite’s Keeper. Head on over and check out the other spinners – find out what roles other people play!
I have always envied SAHM’s in the fact that they get to be there for all the little things and the big things. My shackles still raise when someone makes mention of Sprite’s daycare teachers being substitute parents. Even if sometimes, it can be deciphered as true. John always asks me if we ever came into a lot of money and I could quit to stay home with Sprite, would I? I always answer “Yes” even though I like my job. Great Spin, Stacy! You’re linked!
.-= Sprite’s Keeper would like you to read ..So it turns out that sharing is NOT a two way street… =-.
I have found for me that a happy medium is the best solution. I need to work, not only for the money but for the satisfaction. But, when I worked full-time in an office, I found that I missed too much that happened and in my case, my older daughter needed me to be around. This was my situation, but every situation is different (my younger daughter was fine with me working full time so every kid is different). The anxiety that comes with being self employed is usually worth being available when needed.
Stacy, this was wonderful. And I don’t know how to answer your question – in the daily course of my life, I fill so many roles that I couldn’t even begin to say which – if any – “defines” me. I guess they all do.
Which makes me schizophrenic, when you really think about it…
.-= Jan would like you to read ..Brown and Serve Rolls =-.
Giving our children the best we have of our time, energy and love is our duty. We brought them into the world after all.
.-= Elise Everyday Goddess would like you to read ..The Bicycle =-.
I am glad to see you mention stay at home moms AND dads. There are many more of dads now too. Good for them. I know you just do what needs to be done when you are a mom which is the most important job you could have. In my opinion.
.-= Technobabe would like you to read ..The First Mow Of The Year =-.
eh, there are definitely days…i will say i cant wait to pass the grass cutter role to the sons…
.-= brian would like you to read ..we would not be deterred (bicycle) =-.
I think the role of SAHM has certainly evolved, I only wish internet was what it is when my kids were young, maybe then I would have been a better SAHM. Currently I play the role of a call center supervisor, but there is no reward in in it, and I’m looking to do something different, and more personally rewarding.
.-= Amethyst Moon would like you to read ..Post-it Note Tuesday: Unmotivated =-.
I’m just figuring out that the roles I play can’t be who I am because what happens when they change? Do you lose yourself or become someone else? I guess I don’t know the answer to that but I guess I’ll find out!
.-= Grand Pooba would like you to read ..Four Point Ooooooh =-.
I’m lucky enough to able to work from home. I feel that I have two jobs, housewife (24hr job/no pay)& an actual company employee (paid), but in no way am I defined by what I do.
I can identify with the house purging, I’m in the middle of that myself.
.-= Jill C. would like you to read ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
I love the fact that you know you’re more than one thing. I know a few SAHMs who think that once they had kids they stopped being anything but a Mom. When they’re kids are absent they act like they’re lost.
You, however, are always fabulous.
.-= Mama Badger would like you to read ..Travel Tips Thursday =-.
Stay at home mothers have always been underappreciated.
It is hard work for sure! And those that are single parents working full time taking care of their children are hero’s.
.-= Debby would like you to read ..MY BLOG IS CARBON NEUTRAL =-.
I worked for 22 years and for much of that time was not thinking about having children and knew very little about what it would be like. But yet I still thought that having kids and staying home with them was the “easy option”. Now after three years at home with just one little girl to look after I can say that I was so wrong! I used to work very long hours, often through very stressful and challenging experiences but can honestly say being a stay at home Mom 24/7 is so much harder, and so much more challenging. Single Moms, Military Wives, Moms of Multiples or large families – how they do it all I really do not know!!
.-= Aging Mommy would like you to read ..Just A Typical Day In The Life Of A Technophobe =-.
As a fellow SAHM, I kind of hate when people ask me if I work. I had to tell some lady THREE TIMES that I don’t work on the phone the other day. Then I finally said “I stay home with kids, and that IS work”. I sometimes envy those people who get to dress up and leave the house every day, to talk to other adults and (hopefully) not get screamed at or kicked by anyone.
.-= Casey would like you to read ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: The Poop Standoff =-.
My role is to be overworked! It never ends! 🙂
.-= otin would like you to read ..Hey! an Otin post with almost no words! =-.
I like to think that I defy categories and labels. I think you’re the same way. We can define SAHM anyway we want!
.-= Gretchen would like you to read ..Spin Cycle: Roles =-.
My only role right now is to be a good teacher and daughter; care for my family and school kids. I bet being a mother is a completely different role and you start to see things like your parents do. We all have different roles to play and sometimes it’s hard not to get things mixed up.
.-= Maggie would like you to read ..Children’s Day =-.
I don’t think my role as a mom has ever defined me, but I’ve defined it. 🙂
.-= blueviolet would like you to read ..Do You Blow on Yours? =-.
Amen! I agree wholeheartedly. I really resent when people assume the reason I stay home must be because I didn’t succeed in the career world. I actually did quite well as a teacher and I miss my job a lot, but I know that this time with my kids is invaluable and I will never have a chance to get it back.
Though of course there are days when I wonder what the heck I was thinking when I quit my job.
.-= Patty would like you to read ..Role play =-.
I was a stay at home mom for the first fifteen months of Turbo’s life. I enjoyed it but after a while, I found that I needed to get out and do something other than be mom. So I could be a better mom. I now work part time, after having gone back to school. I like to think I have a good balance now.
.-= VandyJ would like you to read ..Spin Cycle–Roles =-.
My role is different depending on the time of day. Recently I took on repairman and gardener to add on to the 50 other roles I hold.
.-= Laufa would like you to read ..Spin: Roll Up Your Sleeves and Dig In =-.
I’d like to take a break from being divided among my roles and get to focus on the creative for a year or two. Big wish.
.-= Pseudo would like you to read ..Under the Sea… =-.