Fear is a natural part of life.  It happens whenever we are threatened or feel threatened.  Threats can come in many forms – a snake on the ground in front of you, or being face-to-face with an angry person.  When we encounter them, we have that indescribable feeling in the pit of our stomachs.  Normally I would consider myself fairly fearless.

Except.

Spiders are one of the critters that will raise my hackles no matter what kind of spider it is, or how big or small it is.  Mostly because I’m not educated on species of spiders, therefore I have no idea if it’s harmless, or a potential threat.  So as far as I’m concerned, they’re all a threat.  Well, except Daddy Longlegs.  Those are cool.  Probably because I know they’re not a threat.

Snakes don’t bother me too much, unless I’m in an area that is rife with poisonous ones.  Then I’ll walk around on constant high alert.

I think the most significant fear I had to work through was during my marriage to my abusive ex.  He successfully instilled some major fear in me, but I was lucky to have had a great supporting group of friends that enabled me to escape with my life.  Every so often, even all these years later, if I see someone who resembles my ex, I’ll feel that fear rise up until my brain sorts out that it really isn’t my ex.  So I guess sometimes I walk around on high alert against that poisonous snake as well.

Another fear is being in unfamiliar surroundings with a large group of people.  I tend to be more on the shy side, so I’ll be quiet until I become familiar with my surroundings or the people around me.  Then I have the fear that I’ll say something dorky or talk too much.  I guess I better hurry up and get over that fear as I plan on attending BlogHer ’10 later this year.

But my biggest fear?

Maureen over at Island Roar said it best in her Spin post about fear.  My biggest fear only surfaced after the miraculous birth of Princess Nagger.  The fear that I will die an early untimely death and leave her motherless.  Maureen outlined the exact thought process that goes through my head, too.

That fear is of course exacerbated by the fact that Hovering Hubby wouldn’t know the first thing about how to take care of Princess Nagger, since he works hard to support our household and rarely has the opportunity to be ‘in charge’ of the day-to-day basic stuff.  He’d be a fish out of water if I weren’t around to take care of that ‘stuff’.  And he’d certainly have his hands full.

I have every intention of living a long, full life.  If nothing else so I can be around when Princess Nagger gets married and has kids of her own.  I would love to watch her be a mother.  Especially if she has kids just like her.

This Fearful Spin Cycle was brought to you in part by Jen, one of the bravest women I know and Sprite’s Keeper.  Head on over and check out the other spinners – find out who shares the same fears you may have.  It’s nice to know we’re not alone!

17 Comments

  1. The good thing about fear is that it catalyzes the best in us. As for your fear with your little Princess, I know you will do your best to secure her well-being. I have had the same fear as yours with my little son but I know that I will live long enough to see my grandchildren. The power of faith is greater than of fear. 🙂

  5. Stacy,

    I can totally relate! I have that same fear about leaving my kids without me! It can be so overwhelming, especially on those tired, late hours of the night when I’m too hyped up on the day’s iced coffee caffeine to sleep and my brain’s going all wonky-tonky. At least we mamas aren’t alone! :o)

    Have a wonderful (and fearless!) Thursday!
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Happy first birthday, Libby! =-.

  8. My biggest fear sort of relates to your biggest fear about dying early and leaving PN behind. My biggest fear is that I’ll either die before having children or that I won’t be able to have children. We have never even tried to have kids but everytime I think of it I just get so scared!

    That and spiders!
    .-= Pooba´s last blog ..I Wasn’t Kidding, I Really Am A Sinner =-.

  9. Okay, spiders just creep me out, but they’re definitely history when I see them. My biggest fear is dying alone. I have nightmares about it once in a while, and it terrifies me. I think when I do pass on I don’t think my spirit will be leaving this world. I have too many unfinish business, and watching over my children, and husband. He’s my biggest kid.
    .-= Xmasdolly´s last blog ..UPrinting.com’s 250 Business Card Giveaway! =-.

  10. Oh kay…..I had scroll past your largest fear because I suddenly choked up. It’s true, as a mother (or father) that becomes a new fear that it set-up RIGHT at the front of your mind. I hate the idea of me passing too soon. Scary…must…think…happy thoughts!

    Happy Thursday!

  11. I used to have that fear until the kids turned 18. I knew nobody would raise them the way I wanted them raised. I changed guardians five times over the years. I was so happy when they became adults!

  12. I almost died once..was in an induced coma while I healed. Drugs were used to keep me in a coma, and when I came to, I didn’t know if I were foot or horseback.. I never have feared death since I saw it isn’t as bad as some things you might have to live with.. Remember, Fear and Greed are the biggest motivators in advertising- laugh at them! Don’t be afraid, and don’t buy in to their B.S. sales pitches… You will be their worst nightmare- because they fear, and you don’t!

  13. as someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, I have lived with fear all my life. I am waaayyyy better now and cannot believe the things I can do or will do when before I would not have dared.

    I can’t imagine not being here for my kid, so I don’t. I refuse to go down that rabbit hole anymore.

  14. Oh, yeah, I know that fear well. Spiders, snakes (definitely snakes), and my own mortality. I think the fear of missing out on their lives is what scares me the most. Oh, this could get deep. You’re linked!
    And oy! What is wrong with the feed? I’ve re-subscribed a few times on Google Reader and it updates once and then nothing! I have to stalk you on Facebook!
    .-= Sprite’s Keeper´s last blog ..By The Letter =-.

  16. I think we all loved Maureen’s spin. Give Hovering Hubby some credit, though. I bet if he had to, he’d be more than capable of taking care of PN. They’d probably not do things the way you do (that’s mommy special) but they’d come up with new ways to get the job done! They’d miss you horribly, I’m sure, but they’d get by.
    .-= Mama Badger´s last blog ..Traveling Thursday… =-.

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