The Sibling Bond

L-R Back Row: Stacy, Kimn - Front Row: Merri, Michael

(L-R) Back Row: Stacy, Kimn Front Row: Merri, Michael

Sometimes I feel sorry for my hubby who grew up as an only child.  He can’t seem to wrap his head around the bond that happens between siblings.  Growing up in my family, there are four of us kids.  We’re all only one year apart (well, except the twins, who are only 7 minutes apart) so there’s always been a close bond between us.   Also growing up, my dad had gotten rid of our television while we were young, because he didn’t want us to be unduly influenced by ‘bad TV’.  So we had to fine tune our creative skills and keep ourselves entertained.

We would come up with random games to play – my brother and I created our own game we called ‘Laugh Your Head Off’.  We’d take turns and make goofy faces or antics to egg the other on into uncontrollable laughter.  We’d spend hours laughing and being goofy.  Since the road in front of our house was ‘Typical Suburbia’, we were allowed to ride up and down the entire block length.  We would draw chalk roadways out front and pretend to be driving cars, or tie a wagon to the back of our bikes and pretend to go camping.  My mom was pretty cool about the fact we’d actually take blankets out there as tents, and didn’t give us too much of a hard time when we’d bring them in all dirty with the corners showing obvious signs of the wood we used to ‘stake’ them into the ground.

My brother and I would try to get my two sisters in trouble – but my parents were smarter than we gave them credit for, and our plans always seemed to backfire on us.  That didn’t slow us down or stop us, though.  Things changed when my younger sister decided she didn’t like how strict my dad was and ran away two weeks before her 16th birthday, never to return.  I was the first one of us to officially move out on my own when I was 19 – my older sister and younger brother moved out a few years later and became roommates in their first apartment.

The camaraderie between us never changed, though my younger sister chose paths that would take her to bad places and bad marriages, and me being a combination of the Second Born and Middle Child (I know, quite the combo!) I searched until I found her and she and I formed a bond that was previously absent during our childhood.  I took great pleasure in being “Aunt Stacy” to her beautiful daughters and still have a close bond with them to this day, even though it is a long-distance one.

The bond between my brother and I and my older sister and I remained close, and there was never an event or a celebration that we didn’t include each other in.  We remained close as we ventured into adulthood.

When I moved to Pennsylvania 13 years ago this July, the original thought was that it was only going to be a short time.  One or two years at the most.  My then boyfriend now hubby grew up in this area, and his father was deathly ill, so we decided it made more sense to actually move here since we didn’t know how long it would be until he passed away, and didn’t want him to be alone.  My hubby’s mom had passed away from cancer many years before.

My father-in-law just turned 88 and is still going strong!  I like to tease my husband about the fact that his father is the same age my grandfather would be if he were still alive today, even though my hubby is only 5 years older than me.

His mom and dad started very late in life – because they were never planning on having children at all, but my hubby decided to thwart those plans.  Hence the reason he was an only child.  The bond between he and his dad has grown ever stronger over these years, my hubby is thankful we made the decision to move so his father’s final years will warrant some great memories.

Because of the physical distance between myself and my family, the strong bonds that once were have slackened off quite a bit.  None of us are really ‘phone people’, so we rarely call each other except for special occasions.  My older sister and her family moved to Iowa a few years after I moved to PA, so we ended up forming a stronger bond than we had when growing up as we’re both pretty much in the same boat being ‘separated’ from our parents and siblings.  We’ll chat on the phone at least once a month – and make up for the time passed by being on the phone with each other for well over two hours.

In 2-1/2 weeks we’ll be hitting the road to go visit my sister in Iowa – you can bet there will be many sleepless nights with us chattering long into the night as if no time has passed since the last time we were able to spend time together (3 years).  I can’t wait.  We’re both married to Engineers so at least they can empathize with each other while we commence with our magpie ways.

Next year we’re planning a cross-country month-long road trip so we can visit friends scattered along the way between here and Seattle, then spend time in Washington State with my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, cousins, etc.  I wonder how much trouble my brother and I can cause during that visit.  I can’t wait for that, either.

Do you have siblings or are you an only like my hubby and Princess Nagger?  If you do, do you share a special bond with your siblings?

This was brought to you in part by Jen, whose bloggy friendship creates a special bond all over, and happens to be Sprite’s Keeper.  Head on over to the other Spinners and find out what kind of bonds they have – you’ll be glad you did.

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About Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

After 20+ years in the Corporate World and years of infertility, Princess Nagger made her miraculous appearance and I chose to become a SAHM and WAHM - I love every minute of it. We added Little Dude through adoption, adding a whole new dimension to our family. We have an eclectic mix of pets: dogs, cats, birds and fish. I love to cook and try new techniques to turn ordinary into extraordinary. Crafty by nature, I take on a lot of unique projects and enjoy seeing the end result. My favorite, of course, is making my own wine out of fruits and grapes. Experiments with water currently underway. I blog about the joys of parenting, family, friends, life, love and anything else that strikes my fancy. I do enjoy doing reviews and giveaways for products I use, believe in and can stand behind.
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25 thoughts on “The Sibling Bond

  1. I am very close to my sister, but she’s so busy with working full time. I have another brother whom I am also close to, but there are 3 brothers that I rarely speak to, and one of those I haven’t spoken with in 3 years. Geez, it sounds so horrible all spelled out!

  2. I have a younger sister, and you are so right when you talk of the bonds you form with siblings. Also, when we were young, things were a lot different. We played board games together, as well as whatever our imagination came up with, (no electronic gadgets and online games like now). BTW, you were quite the cutie!

  3. I so like your dad getting rid of the TV. I so wish dads today would do that.
    When we were young, my brother and I sometimes played together and that was hide and seek or marbles or digging holes in dirt. Lots of times we each did our own thing and those times I followed a cat around or made up my own form of game. Even when there was TV to watch, neither one of us wanted to watch it because we wanted to be outside playing ball with the other neighbors. I have one brother and always wanted a sister. I love hearing about your siblings and you and how you relate to each other.

  4. I’m the oldest of five, but they’re all considerably younger than me – the next oldest is 5 1/2 years younger (they, however, are all close in age). We’re not “telephone” people either, and I live 1,200 miles from them, so my brother and I stay in touch via email and Facebook. I talk to my middle sister about once a month (she’s the mother of my nephew AKJ, and like you we end up talking for about two hours), and my youngest sister has estranged herself from all of us. Oh, she talks to my brother once in a blue moon, but has excluded me and my middle sister altogether.

  5. My older brother and I were close when we were kids. Being from the boondocks, we were all eachother had. Unfortunately, through the years, our politics and opinions have changed, and he can’t get past that. He’s never met either of his nephews, and we probably speak about every other month.

    I am hoping that the boys will be closer, like PBs family.

  6. Hey! Sorry for the lateness, I’ve been having problems getting the site to pull up all week! The header (beautiful, by the way) (nice job, Keely!) comes up and then it overflows at stack something or othr. I’ve been starring your site all week!
    I completely understand the sibling bond. My sister and I grew up the best of friends and the worst of enemies, sometimes within minutes of each other. 🙂
    You’re linked!

  7. Testing comments in IE7…

    Looks like this ‘fix’ worked:

    Click on Tools, then Internet Options, then Security.
    Choose “Custom Level” and scroll down until you see “Script ActiveX controls marked for safe scripting*” – Disable that.
    Click OK, then Apply…close browser and reopen and like magic, the “abort error” doesn’t show up any more. The stack overflow still does for now – but if you click OK on that, you can continue.


  8. My sister and I are very close. It’s wonderful to have so much shared history and so much understanding between us. I love to remind my girls, who are forever bickering, that some day they will be the best of friends…that’s of course if they survive sharing a room together.

  9. I grew up with 5 brothers & sisters & my hubby has 7 siblings. I agree that that bond is like no other. I feel sorry for your hubby too 🙁

  10. yeah, i have a brother and a siste both younger…we used to play in the woods around our house all the time…battling with our cousins, but dont touch my sibling…or its all over…

  11. I have a younger sister, and you are so right when you talk of the bonds you form with siblings. Also, when we were young, things were a lot different. We played board games together, as well as whatever our imagination came up with, (no electronic gadgets and online games like now). BTW, you were quite the cutie!
    The Urban Cowboy would like you to read ..5 Reasons Why Being Sick Sucks for Everyone Else

  12. My sister and I are very close. We talk on the phone almost everyday and she is such a great auntie.
    My two little girls are still very young and yet the seeds are totally planted. It was hard when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest because they would only be two years apart but now…I don’t mind as much!

  13. I am close to both my brothers- I always get frustrated at all the sweet sentiments written about Sisters only relationship, or Brothers only relationship – how about a brother/sister relationship – they are special too!

  14. I was an only and I HATED that growing up. As I got older, it bothered me less and less. But I think it has something to do with why I now have FIVE of my own. 😉

  15. I’m close to my twin sister even though she lives an hour and half away but my older sister seems to think that we no longer exist. We don’t have a relationship with her or her daughters. Sad but that’s the way it is.

    I hope that you enjoy your time with your siblings. Sounds like so much fun!

  16. Having brothers and sisters doesn’t come with any guarantees.

    My sister and I weren’t that close as kids cos of the age gap, we are very close now despite the distance, mainly because we like each other as well as love each other. I reckon we’d be friends even if we weren’t related.

    I have no relationship with my brother despite being very close to him as a child. There will be no reunions in the future. I have an aversion to other people’s homemade, toxic waste flowing into my life willy flaming nilly.

    The Sock Dropper has a brother. Who should be called “Albatross Around Your Neck”.

    As a family we have been in a two year legal battle because 2 of FIL’s sisters decided to falsify the will of the third sister in order to screw over FIL and their other brother. It’s been a blast to see all that sibling peace and love up close and personal. People in their 80s trying to settle scores of 4,5,6,7 decades ago. FIL and his brother both died during the battle. Their last reality of their sisters was one of confusion, hurt and offence. Neither of them made it to the conclusion (any day now)

    Possibly because I have known the side of “siblings – it has all gone horribly wrong” that I’m not that concerned about Son of Thor being an only.

    Mind you, half the country has produced an “only”, so I reckon he will find a big pool of people to pick from in terms of forming bonds with “outsiders” who, like him, don’t have the ready made, home produced variety of close relationships on offer and therefore lean outward, beyond their family, to make connections.

  17. I have a brother but we are not so close. His being five years younger and far away have contributed to that. So I have made my own family.

  18. When I moved to Chicago I was only two blocks away from my sister. Now she’s on the west coast in Oregon and I’m still in Illinois. It is hard to stay in touch especially since we both lead different lives in different locals, but I do consider us still close.

    Thanks for your great spin,

  19. I am the youngest of three. My dad will be 87 this month. My children are 29 and 31 and I have no grandchildren. My daughter talks about maybe but they really are not sure. She has been married for 8 years now. If so she says she wants one and I keep telling her that it is so nice to have bothers and sisters. When the childrens parents are gone who do they have. How wonderful that his dad is still here, that is awesome. I love having siblings.

  20. Princess Nagger looks like you all as kids, doesn’t she?
    I have one sister that I don’t see often, which is sad. I love that you try and stay close to everyone. I really hope my kids remain close.

  21. Aw, what a cute picture! You know, I used to get my brother into trouble alll the time when we were kids. And I succeeded, too! It wasn’t but a few years ago that I was having a glass of wime with my mom out by the firepit and I owned up to all the stuff I totally got away with as a kid. Ha ha…