My dad sent the following to me in an email. Apparently he’s trying to tell me something:
A.A.A.D.D.: Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
You decide to water your garden.
As you turn on the hose in the driveway,
you look over at your car and decide it needs washing.
As you start toward the garage,
you notice mail on the porch table that you brought up from the mail box earlier.
You decide to go through the mail before you wash the car.
You lay your car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, you decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then you think,
since you’re going to be near the mailbox when you take out the garbage anyway, you may as well pay the bills first.
You take your check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
The extra checks are in your desk in the study,
so you go inside the house to your desk, where you find the can of Pepsi you’d been drinking.
You’re going to look for your checks,
but first you need to push the Pepsi aside so that you don’t accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm,
and you decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As you head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches your eye–they need water.
You put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover your reading glasses that you’ve been searching for all morning.
You decide you better put them back on your desk,
but first you’re going to water the flowers.
You set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
You realize that tonight when you go to watch TV,
you’ll be looking for the remote, but you won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so you decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first you’ll water the flowers.
You pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, you set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, you head down the hall trying to
remember what you were planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed,
the bills aren’t paid,
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter,
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in your check book,
you can’t find the remote (God forbid!),
you can’t find your glasses,
and you don’t remember what you did with the car keys.
Then, when you try to figure out why nothing got done today, you’re really baffled because you know you were busy all day, and you’re really tired.
You realize this is a serious problem, and you’ll try to get some help for it, but first you’ll check your e-mail.